Asphyxiating Apprehension
by ReneeSouffle
Summary: Mortmain is rapidly gaining more and more control of every single person in the Institute. Jem is becoming increasingly decrepit-almost a skeleton of his former self. Will is losing everyone he loves after just barely having them. Tessa is kidnapped for a dangerous experiment... maybe that's all she ever was... a sick experiment...
1. Asphyxiating Apprehension

**This is my take on Clockwork Princess and I'm still unsure if I should do the whole thing, but if people like this first chapter then I will make this whole shabang several chapters long. I WILL GO ALL OUT AND DO THE WHOLE THANG! PLEASE REVIEW! EVERY REVIEW IS EXTREMELY APPRECIATED! **

**Chapter One:** Asphyxiating Apprehension

Somewhere far off, the sound of ticking could be heard, reverberating at a gyrating speed. As the bolts and bucks clicked and clacked louder and louder-cresting over a crescendo-they locked in place like puzzle pieces finally fitted together after so much searching, circling around and around countless times. The machinery had been stoppered; it seemed to cease to function-like everything was off the plan; wrong.

But no, _they_ were wrong. Now, the bolts were stopped, and everything, after what seemed like eternity, would fall into place.

Everything.

"Do hold still, Miss Tessa. The next one might be a real huffer." Sophie's country lilt slipped in her frustration with tightening the corset strings of Tessa's new wedding dress.

"Oh!" Tessa cried loudly, holding onto the mahogany bed headboard as if for dear life.

"I'm sorry, Tessa. I shouldn't have told you before I'd pulled that one. Anticipation is the worst part after all." said Sophie, looking at Tessa apologetically.

"I'm not sure if it is. Not with this one." Tessa breathed in deeply. She felt as if her lungs actually contained less air with the corset restraining her rib cage. Nowadays, she often felt that her rib cage was like a real cage, keeping her over-whelmed heart from bursting. And the corsets and cumbersome wedding dresses were not helping. "Alright, slip it on, Sophie."

Sophie cheerily brought over the wedding dress: a massive, garish, and-dear God-_frilly_ dress. She held the wide crinoline and voluminous bustle over Tessa's head and pulled it down, encompassing Tessa in a sea of creamy, rose-dotted, pearl-beaded wedding gown. Tessa lifted up her skirts, and walked over to the long mirror. Of all the dresses to choose, Jessamine had managed to convince her to pick the one with the most frills. _Doing it for the "frill", it would seem,_ Tessa thought.

Sophie looked in the mirror from behind Tessa, beaming. "Oh, it's lovely Tessa!" She clasped her pale servant's hands together in glee. "Would you like to try on the veil that goes with it now?" Tessa drearily looked over at the vanity table where, in lake of white tulle, sat an equally tawdry headband, complete with a fake white goose on top.

"I'm not sure that this dress is the 'one', Sophie." said Tessa, turning an apologetic smile at her. The truth was, besides the fact of the dresses being terribly too garish, they were much too expensive, and Tessa couldn't bare the thought of making Charlotte pay such an in exorbitant amount on her. But she knew if she'd brought this up to Charlotte she would just say it was worth it for her and Jem's wedding. "If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to return it actually, in exchange for one," she held up the skirts by the innumerable frills, "Less goose-like."

Sophie cocked her head to the side, reexamining the wedding dress. "It does seem a little gaudy and fowl-related," She giggled. "Jessamine did seem more keen on getting this one than you did." Tessa thought of Jessamine, how she secretly married Nate, betrayed the whole Institute, attempted to get Tessa framed for stealing the Book of the White, and was sent to the City of Bones. Charlotte had defended Jessamine in front of the Clave, though she had completely and utterly betrayed her. Charlotte was so forgiving, had so much tolerance, Tessa thought, especially after handling Will for so many years.

_Will_, Tessa thought, staring at her huge dress in the mirror. Right after the engagement was announced, he had taken to spending most of his time in his room. Almost like he was avoiding her again. But yesterday, he seemed to want to spend as much time out of his room as possible. Strange, Tessa thought, but it was Will after all. Like a flickering flame that for a long time, was blown by an unknown wind. Jem was less sporadic. Always her rock, on which she could hold on to, though the storm, raged all around.

"I could ask Mrs. Branwell to take you to the stores again, Miss." said Sophie.

Tessa turned around to face Sophie. "That would be wonderful, Sophie." She looked down at herself. "I am simply just not feeling this one." Sophie walked out of her chamber, leaving Tessa to stare at herself in a huge the most kitschy, almost tasteless, wedding gown she'd ever seen. In the mirror, she saw the fake white goose headband once again. On a whim, she grabbed it off the vanity table and stuck it on her head. The goose's beady eyes seemed to stare down at Tessa, angled at a jaunt on her head.

Despite the situation, she whispered to herself, "I do think this wedding dress would infuriate Will," and she laughed.


	2. Jem's Bride

**Chapter Two: **

While Jem and Tessa usually discussed wedding plans without Will, he was occasionally forced to listen either when they discussed it together with everyone at the Institute or if Jem asked for his opinion; when discussing wedding plans, Tessa, understandably, never asked for his opinion.

During these discussions in which his presence was not so easily ended, he had taken to imagining himself daggering all the ducks across the pond in Hyde Park and tying their bodies to the columns of the balcony outside Gabriel's room.

He did just that now, moving the peas around his plate, and let out a laugh.

Jem noticed and looked to his left across the table at Will. "Now, just what has got your spirits up so, William?"

Will only remembered from his echoic memory the last eight words that had been said, _But why can't I wear my orange suit?_ Undoubtedly from Henry, Will thought.

"I just thought maybe we could all wear orange suits instead, then form a band afterwards and call ourselves the Caroling Carrots." said Will, shooting Jem a sarcastic smile.

He heard a giggle, and flicked his eyes in Tessa's direction where she was shaking in the laughter she tried to hide.

_Drat that Will,_ Tessa thought, for still being able to make her laugh so easily. She had started ignoring Will again, in a vain attempt to put him out of her mind. She was going to be with Jem now, and she figured the best thing to do was to move on in her engagement to him; dwelling on her feelings for Will would only make things more difficult.

But there were those brief and rare instances where she could not help it. Here was one now; her gaze moved across the table to where Will sat, and giggled, entangling gazes. He smiled back.

"It seems your bride enjoys the notion," said Will, still grinning at Tessa. _Your bride._ Will did not know how he uttered those words. _Jem's bride. _He could feel the despair of those words tugging at his heartstrings, jerking, wrenching, till it fell through his chest. But as he gazed at Tessa laughing at him, it was like her gaze and her laughter cut those taut strings and his heart felt light. Sometimes, when he looked at her, he forgot all else; all the problems he had and knew were to come; everything.

But as those ominous words dropped their anchors again, his heart was pulled under and he quickly looked away, severing their gazes. Tessa noticed and followed just as quickly.

"And Henry," Charlotte leaned towards Henry at the table and grasped his hand under the table. "Has finally asked for my help with his inventions this time."

"Yes, I have." Henry added proudly. "And she is more nimble with her hands than I expected," He gave Charlotte a nudge.

"Mushy rubbi-" Will began, but stopped himself. No one at the table seemed to notice, except for Jem who looked towards him; a slightly surprised look in his eyes. He was startled at how accustomed he was to choosing the most malicious things to say, when he did not feel them at all. "Splendid. I'm happy for you both." They all turned to look at him now, looking more surprised than they should have, since he did explain everything about his false curse.

Explaining his reasoning for being a complete scoundrel for the past five years to everyone at the Institute was different than he thought it would be. _Now listen up, I have something important to say. At the tender age of twelve I was cursed by a demon I found in the house. If anyone were to love me they would die. So I left my family and ran away to live amongst Shadowhunters and make everyone hate me. But as it turns out, I wasn't cursed at all! What a funny story! Care to hear it again?_

After urgently and desperately explaining to Tessa first, then to Jem, he felt as if he was someone's lunatic uncle, explaining old stories of his battle scars.

Henry began cheerfully swinging their intertwined hands. "And Lottie makes a genius partner, she does."

Sophie whisked into the dining room now, and began throwing more firewood into the grate. Gideon Lightwood, newly endowed at the London Institute, sitting at the far end of the table, briefly saw her enter, then snapped his gaze back to his plate. Tessa, upon seeing Sophie, remembered her request. "Charlotte, would it be alright to stop by the dress shop again today..." She trailed off, suddenly feeling spoiled and brattish. Charlotte and Sophie had already done so much; made such a fuss of it all. But that dress Jessamine helped her pick, _really._ "It's just that I'd really rather have a simple dress, without all the frills and beads and especially that duck-something-or-other that sits atop the veil."

Tessa could almost see Will's ears perk up after she said _duck_. He made eye contact with Jem across the table. Jem returned Will's smile and they both began to laugh, Jem choking on his soup.


	3. A Lightning-timed Visit

**Chapter 3: A Lightning-timed Visit**

Tessa felt her body tense as she saw the flight of stairs ahead, leading into the Institute's training room. Will and Cecily's voices bounced off the wide expanse of the training room and floated down the steps into the hall.

She would never know him, she thought.

A different light splayed out of small cracks in him, it seemed. But now, she would never be sure. She was to marry Jem; explore Jem. And that was enough, more than enough.

It was not the kind of mysteriousness that surrounded a stranger, but the kind that surrounded someone you already knew, and a new layer had been scraped away. Revealing a new kind of petal in what was surprisingly the same flower. She had said yes, because she loved him, she knew she did. Jem was hers and she was Jem's.

That is what Tessa thought as she walked by the training room, hearing the muffled banters between Will and Cecily about the proper way to throw a knife through a demon's heart. She noticed that when she passed by the training room door, she had slowed her pace. Grudgingly, she admitted to herself that some part of her hoped that Will would open the door just at that moment, and compliment her on her new dress, make an esoteric novel reference or make her laugh.

But that was not Will, was it? Will would more likely make a sarcastic comment about it, and then slam the door in her face.

Perhaps those cracks of a new Will she saw were nothing more than cracks after all? But even if they were more than just cracks, they were still only thin slivers of kindness at best; Jem was a solid rock of kindness.

_ I love Jem and we will be married in a matter of days. _And as if Tessa had conjured him into her sight, there he had appeared, approaching with a smile on his face in the hallway. Her heart could not help but leap.

"My dear Tessa," said Jem, stopping to look her up and down in front of a wide, bright, hallway window. "That new dress is lovely."

Tessa smiled. "Then you'll love that I'm going to get my wedding dress now."

"Oh?" Jem's eyes widened, dubious. He had illicitly heard from a third party, namely Cecily, who told Will, who told him, that Tessa was to wear a wedding dress that was "sure to impress the all the mallards in town." (Will's words) "Oh. Uh... Good then." Jem said, hoping his face betrayed nothing.

They stared at each other for a moment before a rush of cold air rattled the open window and Jem almost doubled over into a coughing fit. The noise startled her and through the window, Tessa saw a flash of movement out on the courtyard near the street. Memories of the Dark Sisters suddenly flooded her mind. But they were dead, weren't they? Jem's coughing drew her attention back to him and she rushed to him, quickly reaching for her handkerchief and pressing it to his lips, which came away speckled with blood.

"Jem! Are you alright?"

Jem straightened himself up again, wiping his mouth with the handkerchief. "Thank you Tessa, but I mustn't keep you," he said, pocketing the kerchief.

"But it's important, Jem, you-"

With both hands he grasped Tessa's shoulders and gently turned her around, marching her down the hall. "Don't worry about me. I've been dealing with this for a long time now, Tessa. And you've got a dress to get into."

As Tessa went down the Institute's front steps, she saw something on the ground glint in the watery morning light. It was near the back of the carriage's horse and Tessa bent to pick it up.

Cyril, who sat atop the carriage, called down. "I wouldn't dwell too long around his hindquarters, miss Gray. Boy's known for letting out whoppers." He winked at her. Tessa scrunched up her noise, and turned away, already smelling what Cyril was undoubtedly alluring to. The object she'd found was a golden button, probably from one of the men's overcoats, thought Tessa, though she couldn't remember seeing any with a lightning bolt engraved on it.


End file.
